Archive for the ‘celebutard’ Category

BWE (backed by CC Insider) tells Page Six why Stephen Colbert’s Christmas card is indeed funny and satirical.

 Dave Hill takes on Little Michael Jackson.

Artie Lange has problems. Waaaaahhhhh!!!! (A side note: I LOVE Artie on the Stern Show and really miss him when he’s not there, but to be honest, I am not the biggest fan of his stand-up.)

Find the number of ironies in this article.

Ricky Gervais keeps blurring the line between real life and reality life.

And because it’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year:

Dancing Christmas Lights!!!! Yes this is about two years old, but it’s become a Christmas classic like Rudolph and the Grinch and Depression. Enjoy!

Really? Are things that bad out there? Is there nothing else to write about? C’mon, Lindsay Lohan just checked out of rehab, she’ll be snorting coke off of Manny Van Douchbag at Club (Insert Number) any day now.  Paris Hilton found God, you know she’s going to lose Him as soon as she gets a few Red Bull and Cristals in her system.

But no. We will now have to focus all of our attention on a washed-up soccer star (sorry “Football“) and a washed-up pop star (sorry “Spice Girl“) because they…um, because she blew…no wait because he had a gay aff…no. Why ARE we so excited about these two coming to America?

Is it her obnoxious “sexy” poses?

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His shit-eating-I-can-fuck-your-wife-if-I-wanted-to smirk?

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Her skeletorian face?

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His awesome buzz cut?

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Or do we just have too much freedom in this country? My fellow Americans, I say that the time has come to say NO to unworthy celebrities or as I like to call them: Celebre-please! (Yes! New word for the Urban Dictionary.) Celebrities must do something to earn our gawks and gapes. They must win awards, build bridges, kill their wives, adopt an African baby or in rare instances – be a nice person. Otherwise we are doomed to an existence where any good-looking semi-celebrity can gain our undivided media attention just because they did something once. Or as I like to call it: media-ocrity. (Oh man I am on fire!)

And when that happens, we will only have five years left on the planet.